February 2012
“Jesus, you speak in complete sentences. No one would believe you’re from...”
– The bartender.
Feb 10th
10 notes
I went from going to bed to splitting several huge bottled craft IPAs with the bartender at the neighborhood bar. Oh, and they’re free.
Feb 10th
12 notes
Feb 10th
5,432 notes
try to take 45 minute nap alarm doesn’t go off accidentally sleep for several hours wake up look at clock freak out rip someone/anyone’s face off
Feb 9th
18 notes
Feb 9th
57 notes
Feb 9th
30,938 notes
4 tags
Feb 8th
65 notes
Feb 7th
28 notes
Feb 7th
172,080 notes
Feb 7th
179 notes
1 tag
Feb 6th
31 notes
Feb 6th
21 notes
Feb 6th
86 notes
Feb 6th
70 notes
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts,...”
– Shel Silverstein (via optionsoflife)
Feb 6th
617 notes
Feb 6th
23 notes
There’s no way Eli’s mom is letting him drive that thing.
Feb 6th
17 notes
1 tag
Feb 6th
62 notes
And with one ill-advised sprint on the sideline,...
That was the literal dumbest thing ever. Someone on the Giants training staff needs to be fired, like, 3 minutes ago.
Feb 6th
21 notes
This Super Bowl has already been far more...
Feb 6th
40 notes
Feb 6th
25 notes
If we're being honest, every Coca-Cola commercial...
globalwarming #;(
Feb 6th
23 notes
Feb 5th
16,400 notes
1 tag
Some twatwaffle took time out of his day to... →
Hey guy, You’re a jerk. Puppies rule. -Mike.
Feb 5th
80 notes
Feb 5th
3,913 notes
5 tags
Feb 5th
29 notes
1 tag
Feb 5th
20 notes
1 tag
Feb 5th
14 notes
Feb 5th
41 notes
Addendum
My oldest brother Chris emailed me a list of other notable medical emergencies that were ignored before my time to be tacked onto yesterday’s post. He wrote the following (edited for the sake of a short post): 197x - My grandfather, a funeral director, helps a woman into his car to take her to make arrangements for her very recently deceased husband. The woman slams the door on her own...
Feb 4th
32 notes
1 tag
A brief medical history of my family*:
198? - My brother Dan breaks his foot. The fracture is actually discovered over a year later, after he broke the same foot again. Both fractures were found on the same x-ray. 1995 - I fall on hot asphalt, removing a Nike logo-shaped chunk of my face and knocking out several teeth. I decide no one will notice and carry on with my business. 1998 - My mom has a heart attack. She ignores it; is...
Feb 4th
54 notes
Anonymous asked: Why are you so sexy? How are you so sexy? Why be anxious when you're so sexy? Sexy cat man is sexy.
Feb 3rd
16 notes
r2-she2 asked: How are you? How is life? Why are you in the woods?
Feb 3rd
9 notes
1 tag
Feb 3rd
77 notes
1 tag
“Where is home? I’ve wondered where home is, and I realized, it’s not...”
– Kurt Vonnegut.
Feb 3rd
63 notes
2 tags
Feb 3rd
24 notes
Feb 2nd
925 notes
ListenTelepopmusik // Breathe
Feb 2nd
107 notes
1 tag
Feb 1st
1,926 notes
Feb 1st
1,731 notes
January 2012
PA House Votes Bible as Book of the Year →
wtf-pennsylvania:damnhellasskings: :|
Jan 31st
17 notes
Jan 31st
228 notes
1 tag
Jan 31st
21 notes
Jan 31st
936 notes
Former All-Star slugger Pat "The Bat" Burrell,... →
Jan 30th
7 notes
1 tag
Jan 30th
41 notes
Oh look, free whiskey
Cue urinating in public in 3, 2, 1…
Jan 30th
36 notes
Venti coffee. Pint of gin.
Yep.
Jan 29th
16 notes
Overhearing the best bar convo ever.
Girl: I'm planning a big girls' weekend!
Guy: You have a lot of fat friends?
Jan 29th
52 notes
Jan 29th
46 notes