Pop-Tart cooking guide*

30 seconds: still a Pop-tart
45 seconds: lukewarm Pop-Tart
57.3 seconds: only acceptable Pop-Tart temperature
1 minute: oh fuck I burned one corner somehow
1 minute 15 seconds: brittle crust; magma center. Cannot safely be moved.
1 minute 30 seconds: Pop-Tart is on fire
2 minutes: everything is on fire now

*adjusted for my mom’s toaster

  1. affably reblogged this from hammerito
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  5. hennnypotter said: Put butter on it.
  6. acmesalesrep reblogged this from hammerito and added:
    Here’s where our stories diverge: 2 minutes: I see reflection of flames on fridge door from living room, ask “Is...
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Saturday, 2nd February